dagens algebra
Jeg kjøpte meg verdens fineste bok i Amsterdam. Den løser rett og slett alle problemene mine med algebra, en teknikk jeg selv har forsøkt å bruke flere ganger tidligere. Jeg har bare ikke dratt den langt nok, og utgitt en bok med kalkulator i coveret og som lar meg finne ut om «Should you become more than just friends?» og «Should you eat something scary from the back of your fridge, or just order Chinese again?» før lunsjtider. (nei, og kjøleskapet)
Men istedet for å la dere prøve dere på kjærlighets- og matproblemer, vil jeg heller presentere den første jeg gikk løs på, sammen med Ida. Vi drakk Amstel (møkk, møkk, møkk) og skriblet for harde livet på servietter mens jeg lente meg i underlige retninger for at den solcelledrevne kalkulatoren skulle fange opp nok lys.
Do you two have the potential to become soccer parents?
Sy = Year of school through which you played team sports
Ss = Year of school through which your significant other played team sports
M = How appealing is the convenience of a minivan? (1-10 with 10 being «Wow, I could fit, like, ten kids in there!»)
U = In your parents’ houses, combined number of photos currently hanging that feature you or your girlfriend wearing a uniform
W = Combined hours per week you and your girlfriend spend watching sporting events
K = Do you currently own any of the following (add all «yes» responses): shade umbrella, Igloo cooler, whistle, folding camp/lawn chair, rain poncho, witty bumper sticker, bleacher cushion, oversized foam fan hand, picnic blanket, dog?
A = Highest rate of aversion to any one of the following movies: Miracle, Bad News Bears, Remembering the Titans, The Mighty Ducks, Field of Dreams, The Natural, Angels in the Outfield, Rudy (1-10 with 10 being «should not be shown to POWs under the Geneva Convention)
F = Choose the number on the scale that best represents your views: «Kids learn to be winners» 1 – 10 «Youth sports should be fun for everyone»
C = Choose the number on the scale that best represents your views: «I know best» 1 – 10 «The coach / referee knows best»
If Goal is greater than 1, you will need to learn how to drive wearing cleats.
Etterpå fant vi ut at jeg godt kunne skaffe meg en tatovering, mens Ida helst burde holde seg unna.
